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Jumping into the world of internet dating
for the first time can be an exciting experience, but with so
many websites to choose from, each with all those options and features,
and so many people who already seem to know what they are doing it can
also be somewhat daunting! If you’ve never used an internet dating service
before, that first look can be enough to put you off for life. But fear
not, everyone has their first time, and after you’ve read this guide and
looked at a few services you’ll feel like a pro!
With numerous dating sites and services around, the first thing you have
to decide is which one(s) to join. The Dating WebReview can help you with
its independent and unbiased reviews, but what should you be looking for
in those reviews and when you visit the sites? One of the most important
statistics for any service is how many members it has. The more members
there are, the more chances you have of finding the sort of person you’re
hoping to meet, whether that be a future husband or wife or simply some
new friends.
The number of people a site already has registered is only
half the story though, people do actually meet via these dating sites and
so not every member is “available”; consequently the number of new members
joining each week or month is also extremely important! And you should
consider geography – three million members in the USA is wonderful if
that’s where you live, but not much use to someone living in London unless
they are willing to seriously relocate! Finally when looking at a dating
sites membership, consider the type of people it is aimed at. There are
mainstream services catering for everyone, as well as a multitude of more
niche agencies who specialise in certain age groups or sexual
orientations. Having found a site with plenty of likeminded members in the
right area, you’re ready to take a look around and see exactly how you go
about meeting these people. Internet dating services vary in the sorts of
options they offer their customers, but there are common features to them
all.
Profiles
Your profile is an advertisement for yourself, it’s the place
where you get to tell the world you exist! All dating sites will ask you
to fill in certain basic information such as your sex, age group,
location, maybe some physical characteristics, hobbies and interests and
so on. Sometimes this is done by selecting options from a standard list,
sometimes by typing in your own text descriptions, but usually a mixture
of both. All sites allow you to upload (transmit to the site) at least one
photograph, often more. Some even give you the opportunity to send a short
video clip. This is well worth doing as you are at least three times more
likely to get a response if you include a photo. It doesn’t matter how
much someone might say “looks are not important”, but at the end of the
day we are all curious and if someone has two similar profiles in front of
them and one has a photo, you know which they are more likely to make
contact with.
Searching
Options vary widely among dating sites, but all will allow you
to search on at least a persons sex, age range, and location. More
advanced matching may depend on your level of membership (free or
subscribed). How much of the resulting profiles you can then see is
dependent on the particular site, with some like Match giving you full
unlimited free access, whilst others such as Meetic will let you look at a
few before you have to start paying (more on that later). Most sites will
let you save your searches so you can quickly try them again next time you
log in and see if there is anyone new that you might be interested in. The
bigger sites will email you details of people matching your search on a
regular basis. The most comprehensive sites will “intelligently” match
other members profiles against yours. This can be a double-edged sword,
set your search criteria too strictly and you could end up missing your
soulmate.
Contact
All is going well, you have found someone who sounds completely
wonderful and now you want to start talking to them, so how do you break
the ice? All the dating sites reviewed on The Dating WebReview give you
the ability to send personal messages to other members through their own
private message systems. This is important because at this stage you don’t
want to be giving out your email address. Another common facility is the
“icebreaker” or “virtual kiss”, a way of showing interest in another
member and asking them to look at your profile. If they like what they see
then they can initiate contact with you safe in the knowledge that you are
already interested, and if not, no direct communication so no feeling
embarrassed – perfect! Finally some of the bigger sites also have their
own chat rooms and private message services which are similar to MSN
Messenger or AOL Instant Messenger, making it easy to strike up
conversation with someone who takes your fancy right away.
Again, how many of these options are available to you will often depend on
whether you are a “free” member or have subscribed to the service.
As you can see, to get the most out of a dating service it is often
necessary to subscribe. With some free sites around, is it really worth
it? The answer is a resounding yes, for several reasons. Running a quality
match making service takes a lot of resources, which means money. The best
sites can only become the best by charging for their service, and the best
sites are the ones that attract the most members.
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The best sites can only become the
best by charging for their service... |
As we said at the start,
the more members the better the chances of finding the right person. There
is another less obvious benefit to subscribing to a dating service instead
of using a free one; it shows that you are genuine about meeting somebody.
Anyone can go and sign up on a free site on a whim, but as soon as you pay
out, even the small amounts most services require, you are making a
commitment, and that’s important. Wouldn’t you rather be a member of a
service where you know the other members are as serious about meeting the
right person as you are?
Finally, here are some general Do’s and Don’ts for Internet Dating.
Do:
- Look around at a few dating sites and join those that you feel
comfortable with. Many will let you see a few profiles before registering
so you can see the type of people already using that site.
- Be honest when writing your profile. It’s tempting to exaggerate or make
up new interests to try and sound more appealing, but sooner or later
these elaborations will catch up with you. There are enough people out
there to be sure that you will find the right one for you if you are
honest from the start.
- Keep “tweaking” your profile. It’s almost impossible to write exactly
what you want to say quite right the first time, so don’t be afraid to go
back and make changes.
- Try and be as sure as you can about someone before you make contact
outside of the site, and then try and make the next step a telephone
conversation.
- If you decide to go ahead and meet someone in person, make sure it’s in
a public place, and always tell someone where you are going!
- Enjoy yourself – it’s fun and exciting!
Don’t:
- Give away too much in your profile, leave something to talk about to
break the ice when you get in touch with someone, or when they make
contact with you.
- Get disheartened if you don’t get floods of people writing to you within
hours or days of posting your profile. Instant results only happen in
movies, real results are worth waiting for!
- Give away too many personal details initially. Most sites will allow you
to block communication from a member if you should find yourself the
object of unwanted attention, but once you’ve given out your email address
or phone number there’s nothing any website can do in the same situation.
- Be afraid to talk about yourself, that’s what the other person is
interested in after all, but…
- …don’t forget to ask about them too!
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